hey can you sign the cast that i have on my finger? shut up! [ian] anthony! anthonyyyyyy! [anthony] what? [ian] do you think maybe you could carry me out into the living room? [anthony] uhh, no. how about you get your fat ass up, and walk out there yourself. [ian] did you not notice my broken-ass foot? you know, the one that you broke because you dropped that jug of dixon cider on it? so if you don't take me out there right now,
i'm gonna take that little twilight fan-fiction that you wrote, and i'm gonna put it all over the 'nets. [anthony] uhh, i never, i never wrote a fan-fiction about twilight. uhh, what, what's it called then? [ian] well which one are you talking about? there's "blood isn't the only thing we suck". there's... [anthony] okay! okay! [anthony] uhh, god! dude you need to lay of the twinkies. there.
[ian] uh, hey can you move me to the ground? 'cause i kinda wanna take a nap and the couch is too soft. [anthony] you were just on your bed. [ian] yeah but i can only sleep on hard things. don't say "that's what she said."! [anthony] actually, i was gonna say "that's what your dad said.". [ian] oh. that's okay then. now move me to the ground bitch! [anthony] fine.
[ian] woa! uhuh. [laughing] ow. [sniffs] oh dude! it smells like frankenstein's tank down here! move me somewhere else! [ian] ahhh. that's better. [anthony] okay, but promise me you don't need anything else, okay? [ian] i promise. [anthony] good. [ian] uh, anthony i'm hungry. [anthony] [angry sound]
[ian] uh! uh! [anthony] alright, what do you want? [ian] uhh, ham sandwich? [anthony] okay. have fun. [ian] do you think maybe you could make it for me? i mean, my injury has made me pretty weak. [ian] no, i wanna make it. [anthony] but you just said you want me-
[ian] no. make me make it. [anthony] huh. i can't believe i'm doing this. [ian] yeah there you go. uh, do you think maybe you could give me some milk too? [anthony] sure man, anything for you. here's your milk bitch. [ian] mmm. thanks man you're the bestest friend ever. [anthony] whatever. [ian] do you want to be the bestest, best friend ever?
[anthony] what now?! [ian] well, you're probably not gonna like it... [ian] yeah, almost there. [anthony] come on man! my arms are starting to hurt! [ian] and there you go! the milk stain is out! good job man. [anthony] are we done now? [ian] uhm... one more thing? [anthony] what could you possibly want that is so important ian?! [ian] chill out man. i was just wondering if you could get me a hot-dog on a stick covered in batter.
[anthony] okay, so you want me to get you a corn dog? [ian] what the hell's a corn dog? like a hot-dog made out of corn? no man, i want a hot-dog, on a stick, covered in batter. [anthony] that is a corn dog. [ian] see, now you're just making up words! just go out to the grocery store and get me one man! [anthony] well i can't 'cause my car's actually broken so... can't drive. [ian] why don't you just drive my car? [anthony] uhh, it's a stick shift. [ian] oh come on man. everyone knows how to drive a stick. i mean, you're not some kind of pussy are you?
[anthony] uh, yeah you... no i'm not a pussy. [ian] cool have fun. [anthony] okay anthony, you can do this, just push in the clutch, put it in reverse, and... [stevie] [scream] [anthony] sh*t! sorry stevie! [stevie] i'm okay! oh, i broke my left testicle. [anthony] ohh. i'm such an idiot. i can't do anything right. [anthony's bearded twin] you totally are an idiot! first you brake ian's foot, then you were a dick about it when he asked you to help him!
oh, and your emo hair makes you look like a little girl! [anthony] no it doesn't. [anthony's bearded twin] does too! i wish all emo hair losers like you would do us all a favor, and go play in a highway. [anthony] you have emo hair too! [anthony's bearded twin] damn it! guess you're right. [ian] dude! what's taking you so long? [anthony] wait... how are you walking? [ian] uhh...
oh! by golly thank you lord! i've been miraculously healed! woohoo! i can walk again! [anthony] you lying bastard! i'm gonna kill you. waah! ow! my ankle! [anthony] so... how does it feel to be my bitch? bitch! [ian] shut up. [anthony] awwh, looks like my bed pan overflowed and i had to use a bag. think fast, bitch! [ian] oh! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
[narrator] to see bloopers, and an extended scene involving a lot of milk... [ian] ugh! dude, soy milk? come on, no. i want real milk. [narrator] click the video right here. [ian] i'm horny. [narrator] click the subscribe button or else i'm gonna break my foot. i'm waiting... anytime now... alright you asked for it... [scream]
